Sunday, July 30, 2006
Red Chief the Rascal
Time to introduce the "baby", who is seven years old, weighs 20 lbs and is larger than many dogs. His personality extends several feet into any room he enters. He has a monkey gene which emerges frequently (particularly when he wants attention) in some of the following ways:
1. Leap onto the top of the china hutch, where a row of family portraits sits, without touching a single one. I don't know how he does this without contravening the laws of nature.
2. Rachet up the aforementioned leap by standing on the hutch and vigorously scratching on the ornately-framed mirror which hangs behind it.
3. Leap onto the pantry cupboard in the kitchen, which ends ten inches short of the ceiling, and holds a collection of porcelain teapots.
4. Leap onto the round metal rods which frame a small greenhouse I keep in the kitchen. I don't have the cover on it at the moment so it is essentially a set of wire shelves topped by a set of fluorescent lights. He straddles a corner and hangs on with three feet as it rocks back and forth and I scream blue murder at him.
5. Leap onto the top of the wardrobe adjoining our bed and then bellyflopping onto the bed. We've had to keep boxes up there to keep him off. With purging and packing the boxes are gone, so he jumped up there twice last night. Problem is he often bellyflops onto my head.... go back and read about how much he weighs and think about the effect of his sharp pointy feet on my face.
After the second wardrobe leap last night he was escorted out the bedroom door and banned for the rest of the night. This morning he was all apologies and kisses, and needed a good long snuggle and rocking in the rocking chair before he felt secure in his mother's love. Poor thing. (Me, I'm the poor thing. He woke me up six or eight times last night and I'm gonna skin him and make a pair of fuzzy slippers of him if he isn't good.)
Rocketing from window sill to window sill, bouncing off all the furniture as he goes, is his favorite amusement. Oh, and standing in a doorway and jumping straight up to see how far he can jump. Five feet so far. He won't play with toys, but likes to chase a string drug across the floor. He tires of this within a few days and looks at me like he thinks I'm demented, which I well may be.
I've begun to wonder what he's going to bounce off of in the trailer?? We're installing a floor-to-ceiling scratch and climb pole for him. But I'm sure he'll soon figure out where my buttons are, and what it takes to push them.