Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Why Couldn't I Sleep Through Hell?

When I folded and went to bed at 2:00 am last night, it wasn't to sleep. It wasn't to do the obvious diversionary tactic married couples enjoy on nights when sleep eludes them either, more's the pity. We lay in bed, both trying to find any comfortable position that would allow sleep to arrive.

At some point during the day I'd slipped a rib from both front and back moorings on sternum and spine. I have one especially loosey-goosey rib that likes to travel. Dam* it hurts to breathe, and lying on it is misery. I prop myself with a rolled up towel front and back, to keep the rib from flattening, and every breath from being like a stab in the chest.  

The cats decided it was an ideal time for a round of Gladiators, and I was a launching pad on the chase route. (Right on the rib that was roaming). I got up shortly after 3:00 and took another pain pill, one from Wednesday's allowance. Meanwhile Tony hadn't slept at all, so we both got up and watched a video for a while. I went back to bed shortly before 4:00 and slept intermittently until 5:30 when Tony came to bed and went to sleep. Then we slept until 10:30 this morning.

We've agreed we should have just continued to sleep through the day and gotten up tomorrow. I can only describe today as tourism in Hell. It's been difficult to move. I've had trouble getting in and out of my chair. My muscles, from fingers to the soles of my feet, have been hot and intensely painful. I have been on the edge of tears most of the day.

Because I know that as soon  as I'm better I'll completely forget how much I hurt today and how useless I've been I decided to write it down while I'm still feeling it.

I go to the doctor and when she asks, "How have you been?" I chirp, "Fine, I've been fine!" This means she cut my pain meds by 3/4 on my last visit. On good days, when none of my joints are subluxated, when my scoliosis and neck vertebrae are behaving themselves, when I don't have a migraine, when I've not gone shopping, or vacuumed or cleaned the bathtub, or changed the bed linens, three pain pills a day is enough to let me sleep. On nights when any of the above has occurred three is entirely inadequate. Four, and sometimes five in necessary.  

I had never taken the eight a day I was prescribed by my previous doctor. But cutting my pain pills to three a day has meant I am often unable to sleep until 2:00-3:00 a.m. and I spend my days in enough pain to keep me from functioning even at my normal snail's pace. So now, I have something to go back to before my next appointment, because I have PTSD when it comes to doctors and all I can focus on is getting out of the exam room as quickly as possible.



oklhdan said...

Oh Deb so sorry you are hurting! I hope you feel better very soon!!!!

Linda P. said...

Your pain comes through these words. I hope the doctor hears them when you next visit.