Sunday, January 22, 2017

Descending into political madness

DJT’s Propagandist Kellyann Conway scolded Chuck Todd on Meet the Press this morning, saying press secretary Sean Spicer presented "alternative facts" when he sparred with the press over the number of people who showed up for DJT’s inauguration. On CBC News this morning Trump, Spicer and Conway’s behaviour was described as ‘bizarre, seeing as how many people showed up at the inauguration is a triviality’, and seeing that how many were there is easily documentable, and has been done so by several non-political agencies, and the number pegged between 200,000 - 250,000.     

Kim Jong-il, former “Supreme Leader” of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea died in 2011, but he was as bat-shit crazy as DJT, and his propaganda people were as nuts as he was, or more than likely too terrified to stand up to him, but you simply must know a bit about Kim Jong-il to get a taste of what we’re in for if the media allows Trump to get away with this delusional “alternative facts” business. 

North Korea's official record of his birth says that, "In 1941 a magical hummingbird visited the People of North Korea foretelling the birth of Kim Jong-il."  This prophecy was allegedly fulfilled on Mount Paektu, "the highest mountain ever" when Kim Jong-il  "emerged, walking from his mother's Patriotic and Revolutionary Vagina six months early and without the aid of a physician, thus rendering the Korean medical community irrelevant.  In shame, all doctors fled our Great and Innovative Nation never to return."  

And for the record, at 2,744 m (9,003 ft) Mount Paektu is 20,002 feet too short to be the tallest mountain in the world.  Other than that it his alternative facts seem totally almost but not quite believable. Trump might say they are the best facts, the greatest facts, but we know they are only alternative facts and not worth the energy it took to defend them. 

But take note, DJT might try to use this tack to rid the USA of meddlesome physicians. If only he supplied a bit of alternative history and walked from his mother’s patriotic and revolutionary vagina six months early, comb-over in place, and grabbed the nearest nanny by her 🐈  then all US physicians would get the hint that they are superfluous to needs and flee the country in shame. Obamacare problem solved. Kellyann needs to get on this one, with photos. 

Since Kim Jong-il felt, illogically, that he was a supernatural being,   (he hadn’t gotten the memo that he was delusional because no one was brave enough to deliver it) he believed that he had the Midas touch at any sport he decided to play. At one point the North Korean Press reported that the very first time he played a round of golf he shot 38 under par, making him the very best golfer the world has ever known.  S’truth!  

Makes you wonder how they did it. I imagine he made the shot, then gazed off into the distance while his lackeys applauded, kissed his feet, cried tears of joy and admired the magnificence of his body and praised the perfection of the shot, while someone ran and dropped a ball into the cup and screamed, “OH, SUPREME LEADER! MAGNIFICENT! ANOTHER HOLE IN ONE!” and burst into tears of joy. His lackeys must have been a somewhat anxious bunch, owing to his notoriously unpredictable nature. 

His official birthday celebrations consisted of huge parades, tanks, missiles, and 100,000 starved but smartly dressed soldiers  and slender North Korean ladies who would march by and pause to bow and cry out their birthday wishes and undying love for Supreme Leader before the dais holding him and his family and generals. 

At one birthday celebration Supreme Leader took out his pistol, turned and shot the general (a family member) standing next to him in the head, turned back and said, “He was not smiling broadly enough when troupe 72 cried out they loved me. I suspect he is not loyal.” No one dared move, not even the man’s wife or brother. The body lay there until the parade was over. Court life went on, his name was never mentioned again, his family is said to have been killed. 

So if, on the golf course, if Kim wanted to make 38 under par, and you were there to help, you did everything with a joyful countenance and your heart in your throat. 

One reason Kim was so “great” at every endeavour was because he didn’t have to take time out to crap, because according to the North Korean State website their beloved leader, unlike other men, did not defecate. I guess that would be a time-saver. 

I might mention another political prevaricator of note, China’s Mao Tse-Tung.  In the summer of 1966, China was experiencing turmoil and widespread famine due to Mao’s irrational policies, and his leadership was being questioned. Mao had been in hiding for months. On July 16 he suddenly resurfaced in Wuhan where he took a vigorous and well-reported swim in the Yangtze River by the Wuhan bridge. This was covered by the news worldwide and I remember it well, Mao’s bald head with its fringe of hair bobbing up and down in the water, and his fat belly as he emerged from the water. Although he was in his early 70s, party propagandists claimed that he had swum upstream against a strong current nearly 15 km (9.3 miles) in 65 min. that day - besting the world’s Olympic records. The claim drew incredulous laughter from foreign observers, who took the claim as a sign that China was descending into political madness. 

“Alternative Facts”. Something tells me that like Kim Jong-il, and Mao Tse-Tung, DJT is going to try to convince us of even more terrifying “alternative facts” than inflating 250,000 to 1.5 Million. The difference is, he doesn’t have the power to kill people and their families in order to make them create and disseminate propaganda for him. Time will tell if Conway and Spicer are as delusional as Trump, or if in the end pitching his alternative reality is too much for them to stomach and they pull back like slugs who have been salted. 

The Chinese Curse has descended on us: We live in interesting times.    

1 comment:

smm said...

It may now be officially The Year of the Rooster for everyone else....
Yet the USA gets the year of the PUFFED UP CHICKEN.