Smacked Upside the Head by the Clutter Fairy

Although I didn’t make a resolution of it, we’re looking down the barrel of an upcoming  move, with a great many things to do between now and then. 

I woke up about a week ago with the Clutter Fairy hovering menacingly over me, threatening to whang me in the head with the toaster, like the Ghost of Christmas Present did to Bill Murray in “Scrooged”. She looks all gossamer wings and pixie dust, but she’s as mean as a junkyard dog, so I have finally put shoulder to wheel and begun the clearing out, moving along, pitching and purging process.

It is amazing how much clutter two people can accumulate in six years. But I am packing anything seasonal that we won’t need until after we move as I purge. 

Clothing, anything stained, hole-y, tired, too small, uncomfortable, outdated, not worn in two years - out the door. I had *35* pairs of socks. Honestly, I don't hoard socks, I just bought four packs that said, “non-restrictive tops” because my ankles tend to swell. Well, they *did* restrict and I can’t wear them. Off to the recycling table. Bathing suit I haven’t worn since we left Oliver in 2008, perfectly good but no one needs to see *that* much of me! Off to the recycling table. Anyway, my dresser drawers are now in great shape, no longer a jumble. 

I also cleaned out and organized the top drawer in the kitchen, moving the cutlery from the drawer to a cutlery caddy I bought a year ago now. Tea towels and hot pads in that drawer. Much better. 

And today I tackled the fridge and freezer. It’s a side-by-side, otherwise known as Narnia for frozen items. I had no idea what was in that thing. If there’s a worse design for a freezer I haven’t run across it yet. I emptied everything out, and in the process solved the mystery of, “What happened to that five pound bag of masa I bought to make tamales with?” In fact I found two five pound bags of masa in there, and enough meat to feed us until we move, which should be around April, if things go as planned. I was able to cross several items off my shopping list, as I already had them in the freezer.  

Tomorrow (well, later today as it is almost 3:00 am) I will take the broom and shovel and dig the car out from under the snow so I can go grocery shopping. I haven’t left the house since Dec. 23rd. I think that’s about two weeks, but I’m not counting. It’s been so blooming cold I haven’t wanted to stick my nose out. But unless we want to live on meat, frozen okra and masa - lots and lots of masa, I have got to bundle up and brave the cold and snow this afternoon.  I’ve got to keep my strength up and keep purging, or that Fairy will skin me, tan my hide and use it to cover her new leather sofa. 

I have no idea how to say “See ya,” in polar bear, but you probably don’t speak polar bear either, so I’ll just say it in Canajun English. Bye, and wish me luck.