Saturday, November 05, 2011

A Morning's Conversation

A One Act Play:

Characters: Him and Her

Curtain rises on a living room in an urban condo. Him and Her are slumped in their respective easy chair/rockers. The floor needs sweeping. The dust is thick. There's a tumbleweed of cat hair rolling across the floor. The digital clock says Saturday Nov 5. It is apparent from their demeanor that they have been unable to do much of anything in days.

There's a white board on the wall with a list:

Wednesday Nov 2:

Doctor's appt
Grocery shopping

Sweep and mop

Clean bathroom
Cook for weekend

Him: That housekeeper didn't show up again this morning.

Her: She's not very reliable. I'm thinking of firing her.

Him: I know we said we hated having a housekeeper underfoot and the agency promised to find someone we'd hardly notice, but this is ridiculous.

Her: I can never tell she's been here.

Him: Has she ever been here? It's so hard to get good help anymore. (sighs)

Her: Well, even if we don't fire her, I'm seriously considering cutting her wages, or at least reducing her benefits.

Him: It's probably union interference. Maybe she's working to rule?

Her: I'll bet she's downtown with that "Occupy" crowd, sleeping in a tent, protesting against the 1%.

Him: I'm so upset about it I'm taking to my unmade bed.

Her: I'll sit here and have the vapours. I haven't had a good fit of the vapours in ever so long and it's something I can do without leaving my chair.

Him: Shuffles out of room.

Her: Rock, rock, rock.

Curtain falls


Anonymous said...

A friend was so angry today when after taking the time from her busy to life to spray the tub/shower with Scrubbing Bubbles Cleaner to find this morning despite having all night to do their work...they did squat.

dolka is the new polka

Deb said...

Scrubbing Bubbles don't scrub tubs/showers and they don't scrub toilets. My question would be what exactly *do* they scrub? It's all hype. Sold by the same agency that sent out my "housekeeper" no doubt.

I can hardly walk right now. A polka would be out of the question. A dolma would be nice. A dozen would be nicer.