Dear Abby

Our cats have been chewing the covers of Nietzsche's Thus Spoke Zarathustra and as a result seem to be experiencing philosophical crisis. We have put the Nietzsche on a higher shelf, but the damage already seems to be done. 

Here Hobbes contemplates his failure to fulfill Nietzsche's directive, "I teach you the overman. Man is something that shall be overcome. What have you done to overcome him?"

 
Smokey, who is not yet an accomplished reader, experiences existential angst while contemplating, "What is the cat to man? A laughingstock or a painful embarrassment. And man shall be just that for the overman: a laughingstock or a painful embarrassment. You have made your way from worm to man, and much in you is still worm. Once you were cats, and even now, too, man is more cat than any cat."

We are at our wit's end with these cats who want to discuss philosophy at 2:00 am every night. What can we do? Do you have any advice for us?


Concerned Cat Parents

Dear CCP's,  

Cats have short attention spans, except when they don't. They can be obsessive when a felt mouse or philosophical concept promulgated by Nietzsche or Schopenhauer takes their fancy. I suggest leaving something simple-minded for them to chew on, say Fun With Dick and Jane or anything written by Barbara Cartland.